A True Reflection?
After 4 years of not liking what I see in the mirror I have finally decided to do something about it.
Many things in my life need to change for me to accomplish what often in the past seemed like a mammoth task. Firstly I knew that, at the rate I was going I knew I would end up being Morbidly Obese, Lazy and Ugly for my gorgeous wife. Second to that I knew I was going to be an ineffective dad to my 2 beautiful children.
When I joined the Royal Air Force 7 years ago I was a slim 19 year old full of energy who thought nothing of a 5 mile run on a miserable January morning at 6 a.m in the Snow, when I look back at those times I wonder what happened to my fitness and my energy and why I look and feel the way I do now. The answer to that question I don't know but the solution to the problem is what I intend on finding out. For the first 3 years of my Air Force career I found that I gained 1 stone every year until I hit 13 stone. I put this down to the drink culture in my job, however it was at this point I realised that I was heading down a slippery slope but never really did anything about it. My weight has fluctuated around the 13-14 stone region for the last 4 years now but only recently have I exceeded 14 stone. When this happened I knew I couldnt carry on and something had to be done.
The very few occasions in my life where I attempted to lose weight were pretty much dead before I even started as I didnt have the determination and I've got a habit of always try to find an easy option to get the desired goal. Losing weight is not something that can be done just with a few pills and the odd run every now and then. I have tried many easy "quick" fixes that in reality do not work and can be unsafe. Diet pills, starving myself, crazy diets, laxatives and even food poisoning are just some of the things I tried! In hind site some of these are ridiculous and damn right stupid. None of which I will ever be trying again, unless of course I have constipation! One of my crazy diets was just eating carrotts all day every day for a whole week! Not only is this boring it can turn your skin yellow, however I could see in the dark a whole lot better!
I have been a smoker since the age of 15 but never really found it affected my health until about 3-4 years ago as I started wheezing a lot and becoming out of breath just heading up a flight of stairs! So it was only when our first child (Henry) was born in 2009 that i decided to quit because I knew I didnt want to be one of those dads who cant go to the park for a kick around with his children. I found it extremely easy with the aid of Champix. I used Champix for 12 days and stopped smoking, I also stopped using the tablets as I thought I had quit smoking by myself and didn't need them. This ended up being true as i didnt touch another cigarette for 2 years! "Pat on the back!" NO. I started smoking the horrible things again much to my own disgust!!! I did however manage to hide the fact I was smoking for nearly a year from my family! Nothing to be proud of I know. I always hated smoking, and hated the fact that people around me smoked whilst it was so easy to quit! This "fact" ended up becoming fiction to me as I tried to fight the smoking battle again on my own 3 times without the use of Champix. I then saw the smoking cessation nurse to get the little blue helpers. I took them yet again for 12 days and quit! Wahoo! NO. I stopped taking the tablets and the old regime of smoking swiftly followed. What happened? Maybe I just wasnt ready. Another vist to the nurse to get another batch. Surely this time it will work. I have stopped smoking and using the tablets so up to now they done their job as I don't class myself as a smoker anymore even though I do have the odd one every now and then when I have a drink but I dont feel like it has a hold of me anymore like it used to. I have seen the health benefits from it massively as I can now breathe without a single wheeze, i'm never out of breath and I can actually play a whole game of football OUT OF THE NET! Smoking is no longer an issue for me and that I am so glad of, but I definately wont judge people for smoking anymore as I realise how hard it really is to stop.
Dealing with how I feel about myself is a different ball game which is why I decided on the title of my first blog. Im a very outgoing person and always have been a "gobshite" and don't think that will ever change. From my first report in reception class right through to year 11 at high school I was marked as the class clown and I was nicknamed Chippy by my teacher Mrs Bidwell as I always chipped in when it was someone elses turn to talk. I like to think I have mellowed out a bit since then but I'm sure my peers will say otherwise! I've not been anywhere near as confident as I normally am for the last few years and I think that sometimes reflects on my behaviour as I experience a lot of mood swings which directly affect my loving wife. I would never dream of ever laying a finger on her as she is my life but I have certainly said hurtful things to her and have punched and headbutted walls and doors, thrown laptops etc etc, none of which I am proud of. Those times have passed now thankfully as that part of my life is over. Still though when I look in the mirror I am not happy with how I look and I'm disgusted with my body. I will go to work and receive the mandatory banter that is expected when someone is overweight, which most of the time is funny and is said in jest, I will laugh it off and reply with another witty comment but sometimes it's to hide the fact that what has actually been said really annoys me and can get me down sometimes if i'm having a bad day. Taking the mickey out of someones personal appearance can be a very touchy subject for the person receiving the comments, I know that just as much as anyone but why do I give it out so much as well???? Maybe i should reflect on how it sometimes makes me feel and perhaps I wouldn't dish it out as often as I do. I have made a lot of good friends this last year and I think that meeting them has definately made me a much happier person in myself as I have started socialising a lot more now which makes me feel good. I hope it stays that way as I would class them as people I would love to stay in touch with throughout my life.
My original intention for this blog wasnt to blurt out my whole life story but I feel it might make an interesting read for some people who may be a little interested about what goes on in my head. haha. My main reason for the blog is to document for myself what I have eaten and how much exercise I have done in that day and take a picture of my body to see how much progress I am making, also to add a few witty statements or just general things about what I have done for other peoples benefit.....possibly. Basically an online diary for all to see I guess but with the fitness being the main focal point for me.
So I will start with today 08/02/2012. My awesome fathers birthday, who unfortunately I couldnt see, but im sure he doesn't mind too much! We will have a drink to make up for it next time i'm home!
Today I went to the gym with a bit of cardio in mind. I knew I wanted to use the exercise bike but didnt know whether I was going to base my session on time, calories burnt or distance so I just put Rise of the Planet Of the Apes on my Galaxy S2 and covered the bike display screen so I couldn't see time or distance on the bike. As I had started my fitness regime 2 weeks ago I had already started to watch this film before so I only had approximately 40 minutes of the film left, which meant my cycle was going to end up being time based anyway! lol. I set the bike to level 11 and just pedalled away, having a couple of sneaky peeks at my distance along the way which both times left me surprised at how far I had got. By the end of the film I uncovered the display and found i had ridden 19.52km! I was personally quite impressed with the result as when i first started going to the gym I would only do 10km in one session. I upped this to 15km last week. Once I finished my cool down I went into the resistance suite to work on my arms. I did 3 sets of 20 on the shoulder press using 45kg weights, I have no idea if this is good or not but its a start I guess! 3 sets of 15 on the chest press using 35kg weights. 3 sets of 15 on the bicep curls using 35kg weights and I used 2 other machines but i cant remember what they were but did similar on those. Will have to write them down for the next blog. All I know is My triceps are killing me! No pain no gain as they say! I will also be publishing pictures of my body as it changes through the weeks for my own documentation but so others can see that eating normally and exercising alot can make a difference.
After todays session i felt really good but am getting a lot of lower back ache, I can safely say Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a good film though and I reccommend it to anyone!
Until next time. Ciao
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